The Oscars are here! Time to leap for joy, or grab your puke bucket, depending on where you stand. On this episode I've got Eliot in front of the mic talking about what we love and what we hate about the Academy Awards. He lends extra credibility to the topic because he is an avid list maker - and the Oscars are truly a list-maker's wet dream.
I'll be on the tweeter during the ceremonies (@elismassacre). I may or may not be clever, depending on how much wine gets passed around...
Here's Episode 5! Happy Oscars!
Oscars 2012 by Moviemassacre
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
War Horse
Horses are people too, you know.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
At Direction
Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Here's a question for you - is Spielberg even trying anymore? Should we send out a search party for his talent, or has it suffocated under his massive pile of money? This film delivers exactly what the advertising promises. So you may as well just watch the trailer and save yourself the 146 minutes (that's 7 minutes longer than The Tree of Life, FYI).
The fundamental problem with this film is that every single moment is given a huge amount emotional weight. Every line of dialog is a big moral lesson, every music cue is EPIC, and practically every frame is a glamour shot of the bloody horse. How can your story build to any kind of climax with that level of constant melodrama? Where do you go with your story when the epic scale is already cranked to 10? (... To 11 maybe?)
The technical work that went into this film is all superb, but the acting is terrible, and the dialog is atrocious. Plus, the main kid throws off this creepy bestiality vibe whenever he gets near the horse, and that combined with all the field ploughing (first 1/2 hour of the film) forced me to suppress some very dirty puns.
The whole thing is a mess. SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE AWAY SPIELBERG'S MONEY!!!
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
At Direction
Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Here's a question for you - is Spielberg even trying anymore? Should we send out a search party for his talent, or has it suffocated under his massive pile of money? This film delivers exactly what the advertising promises. So you may as well just watch the trailer and save yourself the 146 minutes (that's 7 minutes longer than The Tree of Life, FYI).
The fundamental problem with this film is that every single moment is given a huge amount emotional weight. Every line of dialog is a big moral lesson, every music cue is EPIC, and practically every frame is a glamour shot of the bloody horse. How can your story build to any kind of climax with that level of constant melodrama? Where do you go with your story when the epic scale is already cranked to 10? (... To 11 maybe?)
The technical work that went into this film is all superb, but the acting is terrible, and the dialog is atrocious. Plus, the main kid throws off this creepy bestiality vibe whenever he gets near the horse, and that combined with all the field ploughing (first 1/2 hour of the film) forced me to suppress some very dirty puns.
The whole thing is a mess. SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE AWAY SPIELBERG'S MONEY!!!
Eli
Friday, February 24, 2012
Hugo
I want to go to there.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Martin Scorsese
Best Adapted Screenplay - John Logan
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Film Editing
Art Direction
Costume Design
Best Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Visual Effects
Ok film geeks, this one is definitely for you! Packed with nods and tributes to the cinema of yore, Hugo just kinda sweeps you off your feet, no matter much cement and/or bowling balls you've packed into your boots.
The art direction and cinematography are simply stunning, and (unlike other old-hollywood-nostalgia films nominated this year) the whole thing stirs up some pretty intense desires for cheesy, ridiculous, old school cinema. Yes, the child actors are really annoying, yes everyone speaks in a bizarre pan-european accent, and yes there is way too much time spent on the creepiest robot in the world, but it's all super pretty, so who cares!
There are way better films this year that haven't received nearly as much recognition... But all things considered, if Hugo wins over The Artist or War Horse, I'll be very pleased.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Martin Scorsese
Best Adapted Screenplay - John Logan
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Film Editing
Art Direction
Costume Design
Best Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Visual Effects
Ok film geeks, this one is definitely for you! Packed with nods and tributes to the cinema of yore, Hugo just kinda sweeps you off your feet, no matter much cement and/or bowling balls you've packed into your boots.
The art direction and cinematography are simply stunning, and (unlike other old-hollywood-nostalgia films nominated this year) the whole thing stirs up some pretty intense desires for cheesy, ridiculous, old school cinema. Yes, the child actors are really annoying, yes everyone speaks in a bizarre pan-european accent, and yes there is way too much time spent on the creepiest robot in the world, but it's all super pretty, so who cares!
There are way better films this year that haven't received nearly as much recognition... But all things considered, if Hugo wins over The Artist or War Horse, I'll be very pleased.
Eli
A Separation
No snarky tagline, cuz its just that good.
Nominated for:
Best original screenplay - Asghar Farhadi
Also nominated for:
Best foreign language film (Iran)
What can I say about this film? That the acting is flawless? That the writing flawless? That the composition is flawless? That the story has every opportunity to fall into a melodramatic, stereotypical portrayal of Iranian culture, but instead honours the integrity of its characters and maintains their humanity? That it's really freakin' good?
Yeah, I can say all of that. So I will. Just rephrase all that stuff as statements instead of questions.
Eli
PS - Though I'm really routing for Kristen Wiig to win for Best Original Screenplay, I wouldn't be surprised if Asghar Farhadi causes an upset and wins instead.
Nominated for:
Best original screenplay - Asghar Farhadi
Also nominated for:
Best foreign language film (Iran)
What can I say about this film? That the acting is flawless? That the writing flawless? That the composition is flawless? That the story has every opportunity to fall into a melodramatic, stereotypical portrayal of Iranian culture, but instead honours the integrity of its characters and maintains their humanity? That it's really freakin' good?
Yeah, I can say all of that. So I will. Just rephrase all that stuff as statements instead of questions.
Eli
PS - Though I'm really routing for Kristen Wiig to win for Best Original Screenplay, I wouldn't be surprised if Asghar Farhadi causes an upset and wins instead.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
My Week With Marilyn
Oh Marilyn, you're so crazy! ... That turned out well, right?
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Michelle Williams
Best Supporting Actor - Kenneth Branagh
Straight up, Michelle Williams is superb as Marilyn Monroe. And Dame Judi Dench is also fabulous in her tiny role. But that's pretty much where the greatness ends. All the characters come off as cartoonish and one-dimensional (especially Kenneth Branagh as Lawrence Olivier). The film presents itself as some kind of wonderful madcap romp, but all that cheeriness undermines Michelle Williams' efforts to garner credibility and sympathy for Hollywood's most infamous sex symbol.
The film starts with a title card stating that everything in this film is TRUE, and by the end we are told just how WONDERFULLY everything turned out for all parties involved. This is beyond disturbing, given that Marilyn Monroe overdoses on barbiturates only a few years later. To boot, the main character is a wide-eyed, freckle-faced, rich-blooded mimbo who seems to have spent his entire life talking about the week he spent with Marilyn Monroe in his youth. Obsessed much?
In my book, he just another set of testicles clamouring to claim a piece of Marilyn Monroe as his own. And this movie is just another sloppy biopic looking to cash in on some greasy Oscar buzz.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Michelle Williams
Best Supporting Actor - Kenneth Branagh
Straight up, Michelle Williams is superb as Marilyn Monroe. And Dame Judi Dench is also fabulous in her tiny role. But that's pretty much where the greatness ends. All the characters come off as cartoonish and one-dimensional (especially Kenneth Branagh as Lawrence Olivier). The film presents itself as some kind of wonderful madcap romp, but all that cheeriness undermines Michelle Williams' efforts to garner credibility and sympathy for Hollywood's most infamous sex symbol.
The film starts with a title card stating that everything in this film is TRUE, and by the end we are told just how WONDERFULLY everything turned out for all parties involved. This is beyond disturbing, given that Marilyn Monroe overdoses on barbiturates only a few years later. To boot, the main character is a wide-eyed, freckle-faced, rich-blooded mimbo who seems to have spent his entire life talking about the week he spent with Marilyn Monroe in his youth. Obsessed much?
In my book, he just another set of testicles clamouring to claim a piece of Marilyn Monroe as his own. And this movie is just another sloppy biopic looking to cash in on some greasy Oscar buzz.
Eli
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
A Better Life
THE MEXICANS ARE COMING! But it's cool, cuz they're nice.
Nominated for:
Best Actor - Demián Bichir
*** Spoilers below ***
A poor (but noble) illegal Mexican immigrant fulfills his dream of making a better life (LIKE THE TITLE!!!) for his son by buying a truck for his landscaping business. But BAM! someone steals his truck. Sonovab@#%! Father and son bond over search for truck. Then those nasty cops go and spoil it all by deporting Father back to Mexico. NO WORRIES though, Father and a host of other illegals pay a smuggler to get them back over the border. Father and others skip off through the desert into the sunset, and into the USA.
As far as issue films go, this one isn't all that bad. But there is a lot of over-simplification of some very complex things, the worst case being the ending (crossing the border illegally through the desert is not exactly a breeze...). This film is supposed to be pro immigration, but it essentially shoots itself in the foot. Both xenophobic and open-armed Americans will remain convinced of their respective opinions, and those who fall somewhere in the middle will promptly forget they ever saw this film.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actor - Demián Bichir
*** Spoilers below ***
A poor (but noble) illegal Mexican immigrant fulfills his dream of making a better life (LIKE THE TITLE!!!) for his son by buying a truck for his landscaping business. But BAM! someone steals his truck. Sonovab@#%! Father and son bond over search for truck. Then those nasty cops go and spoil it all by deporting Father back to Mexico. NO WORRIES though, Father and a host of other illegals pay a smuggler to get them back over the border. Father and others skip off through the desert into the sunset, and into the USA.
As far as issue films go, this one isn't all that bad. But there is a lot of over-simplification of some very complex things, the worst case being the ending (crossing the border illegally through the desert is not exactly a breeze...). This film is supposed to be pro immigration, but it essentially shoots itself in the foot. Both xenophobic and open-armed Americans will remain convinced of their respective opinions, and those who fall somewhere in the middle will promptly forget they ever saw this film.
Eli
PS - While some may find Demian Bichir's character inspiring, I'm a little sick of seeing Hollywood pump out this noble-foreign-destitute protagonist. If being poor makes you so smart and good, why are we all still a slave to the 9-5?
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Sirius Black is a British spy?!?!?!?!?!
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Gary Oldman)
Adapted Screenplay (Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan)
Also nominated for:
Best Original Score (Alberto Iglesias)
If you ever dreamed of being a british spy, this film will absolutely crush any and all romantic thoughts you may have had on the subject. This masterfully crafted film deserves recognition for much more than the script and Gary Oldman's performance (like maybe directing, editing, best picture...)
A+ to director Thomas Alfredson for confirming all my deepest fears about the incompetency of our bureaucratic superiors. Check out the podcast for a more in depth conversation.
Eli
If you ever dreamed of being a british spy, this film will absolutely crush any and all romantic thoughts you may have had on the subject. This masterfully crafted film deserves recognition for much more than the script and Gary Oldman's performance (like maybe directing, editing, best picture...)
A+ to director Thomas Alfredson for confirming all my deepest fears about the incompetency of our bureaucratic superiors. Check out the podcast for a more in depth conversation.
Eli
Sunday, February 19, 2012
The Iron Lady
Margaret Thatcher is so misunderstood. Like Sarah Palin. Or Karla Homolka.
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Maryl Streep
Also nominated for:
Best Makeup
The Iron Lady is a movie unworthy of Maryl Streep's divine-ness.
This film desperately tries to gain sympathy for Thatcher with soft-focus lenses, a cutsey musical score, and lots of shots of a senile old lady tottering around her ritzy apartment. Needless to say, I'm not buying it. The script is full of clevery-forshadowy lines, but there is never any context provided for all the (very serious) historical events covered in the film's timespan. Thatcher is painted as a kind of idealistic innocent caught in the middle of some crazy IRA rioters, and the social problems (mass riots, rampant unemployment, rapid inflation, starvation protests) directly caused by her controversial and cruel policies become somehow divorced from her political responsibility.
The few times when she is shown making decisions, she is surrounded by a bunch of men who simply explain all the various issues at hand. Thatcher acts completely overwhelmed, as if she's just a little girl caught up in a world beyond her comprehension. Then the whole thing 'touchingly' culminates with crazy old Thatcher sorting through a box of memories muttering "all I wanted was to be happy!" Cue the vomit.
Whether this is a conservative propaganda film or just a failed attempt at being edgy, I can't tell. Maryl Streep is fabulous, but everything else stinks.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Maryl Streep
Also nominated for:
Best Makeup
The Iron Lady is a movie unworthy of Maryl Streep's divine-ness.
This film desperately tries to gain sympathy for Thatcher with soft-focus lenses, a cutsey musical score, and lots of shots of a senile old lady tottering around her ritzy apartment. Needless to say, I'm not buying it. The script is full of clevery-forshadowy lines, but there is never any context provided for all the (very serious) historical events covered in the film's timespan. Thatcher is painted as a kind of idealistic innocent caught in the middle of some crazy IRA rioters, and the social problems (mass riots, rampant unemployment, rapid inflation, starvation protests) directly caused by her controversial and cruel policies become somehow divorced from her political responsibility.
The few times when she is shown making decisions, she is surrounded by a bunch of men who simply explain all the various issues at hand. Thatcher acts completely overwhelmed, as if she's just a little girl caught up in a world beyond her comprehension. Then the whole thing 'touchingly' culminates with crazy old Thatcher sorting through a box of memories muttering "all I wanted was to be happy!" Cue the vomit.
Whether this is a conservative propaganda film or just a failed attempt at being edgy, I can't tell. Maryl Streep is fabulous, but everything else stinks.
Eli
The Ides of March
"They'll get you for that" - Ryan Gosling, being a badass.
Nominated for:
Adapted screenplay - George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon
What a shame that this picture only got nominated for its screenplay. This film is miles better most of those nominated for best picture. Its a solid political drama - simple, elegant, insightful and disturbing. The all-star male cast (Clooney, Gosling, Seymour Hoffman, Giamatti) knock it out of the park, and the whole thing leaves you with very little confidence in the political system (that is, if you had any left to begin with).
How refreshing it is to watch a dramatic film that is succinct and powerful, but never falls prey to melodrama or convention. And if you care nothing for politics, the film is worth a watch just for the Clooney/Gosling face-off towards the end. Damn, those men are gorgeous.
Eli
Nominated for:
Adapted screenplay - George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon
What a shame that this picture only got nominated for its screenplay. This film is miles better most of those nominated for best picture. Its a solid political drama - simple, elegant, insightful and disturbing. The all-star male cast (Clooney, Gosling, Seymour Hoffman, Giamatti) knock it out of the park, and the whole thing leaves you with very little confidence in the political system (that is, if you had any left to begin with).
How refreshing it is to watch a dramatic film that is succinct and powerful, but never falls prey to melodrama or convention. And if you care nothing for politics, the film is worth a watch just for the Clooney/Gosling face-off towards the end. Damn, those men are gorgeous.
Eli
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Episode 4! Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Whoa! Four episodes already? I know, I know, you just can't get enough...
Cal and I both gush over Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, though we do sometimes confuse Gary Oldman's various roles...
Episode 4 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by Moviemassacre
Cal and I both gush over Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, though we do sometimes confuse Gary Oldman's various roles...
Episode 4 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by Moviemassacre
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Tree of Life
Life... is pretty... cool...
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Terrence Malick
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Don't be afraid of this film. Just let the beautiful images take you on one hell of a ride. The experience is sure to evoke some powerful emotions, if you let it. Plus, there are dinosaurs.
Eli
PS - Check out the podcast for a (slightly) more in-depth discussion.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Terrence Malick
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Don't be afraid of this film. Just let the beautiful images take you on one hell of a ride. The experience is sure to evoke some powerful emotions, if you let it. Plus, there are dinosaurs.
Eli
PS - Check out the podcast for a (slightly) more in-depth discussion.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Adults learn lessons about life from neurotic child. Neurotic child deals with neurosis.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Best Supporting Actor - Max von Sydow
Here's a great example of a movie that fails miserably for no apparent reason.
The whole thing looks gorgeous. The story and characters are compelling - not nearly as sappy as anticipated. But by the end of the film, you're left thinking "So?" And when your movie deals with 9/11 survivors, this is pretty much worst impression you could leave.
Ultimately this film doesn't work for (possibly) two reasons: the audience can't tell whether the kid is crazy or just a bad actor, and the filmmakers try to fit a non-linear, non-conventional story into a typical two-hour linear film. It's like trying to shove a 10-pound live octopus into your pocket. ... Yes. Its exactly like that.
Perhaps the film's creators would have been better served with taking a Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) or Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie) approach, where the film's structure itself is hyper, surreal, and fantastical. I don't really know. In the end, its a really good story, but the film is forgettable, at best.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Best Supporting Actor - Max von Sydow
Here's a great example of a movie that fails miserably for no apparent reason.
The whole thing looks gorgeous. The story and characters are compelling - not nearly as sappy as anticipated. But by the end of the film, you're left thinking "So?" And when your movie deals with 9/11 survivors, this is pretty much worst impression you could leave.
Ultimately this film doesn't work for (possibly) two reasons: the audience can't tell whether the kid is crazy or just a bad actor, and the filmmakers try to fit a non-linear, non-conventional story into a typical two-hour linear film. It's like trying to shove a 10-pound live octopus into your pocket. ... Yes. Its exactly like that.
Perhaps the film's creators would have been better served with taking a Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) or Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie) approach, where the film's structure itself is hyper, surreal, and fantastical. I don't really know. In the end, its a really good story, but the film is forgettable, at best.
Eli
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Descendants
Great scenery. Terrible fashion.
Nominated for:
Best Actor (George Clooney)
Directing (Alexander Payne)
Best Picture
Adapted Screeplay (Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash)
Also nominated for:
Film Editing (Kevin Trent)
There are some really strong performances in this film (Matthiew Lillard is all grown up!), but this movie is all about The Clooney. He really does sell it. His performance creates some lovely moments that just kinda break your heart into a million little bits.
Alexander Payne seems to excel at telling stories about disillusioned, unhappy middle-aged men (you can take that as a positive or a negative...). And while the movie kinda drags during the third act, I think the sincerity of the performances and the writing is enough to win over plenty of audiences.
Eli
PS - One last point - this movie gets props for showing what someone actually looks like when comatose. So... yeah.
Nominated for:
Best Actor (George Clooney)
Directing (Alexander Payne)
Best Picture
Adapted Screeplay (Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash)
Also nominated for:
Film Editing (Kevin Trent)
There are some really strong performances in this film (Matthiew Lillard is all grown up!), but this movie is all about The Clooney. He really does sell it. His performance creates some lovely moments that just kinda break your heart into a million little bits.
Alexander Payne seems to excel at telling stories about disillusioned, unhappy middle-aged men (you can take that as a positive or a negative...). And while the movie kinda drags during the third act, I think the sincerity of the performances and the writing is enough to win over plenty of audiences.
Eli
PS - One last point - this movie gets props for showing what someone actually looks like when comatose. So... yeah.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Margin Call
Mo' money, mo' problems.
Nominated for:
Original Screenplay (J.C. Chandor)
This here's a little film with a good script and big name actors. But despite all the big names (and big themes) involved, the film's direction is all off, and feels like first-time director J.C. Chandor didn't know how to handle all the talent he had in front of him. Scenes with Stanely Tucci, Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons hold up, but that is probably because of their acting skills, and not much else. A better director would have brought out the subtleties of the scripts, and lessened the awkwardness of all those talking heads.
All in all, the film is quite topical, but if you want to watch a movie about our recent little stock market disaster, you'd probably be better off watching last year's documentary Inside Job.
Eli
PS - As per usual, I seem to be in the minority about this one.
Nominated for:
Original Screenplay (J.C. Chandor)
This here's a little film with a good script and big name actors. But despite all the big names (and big themes) involved, the film's direction is all off, and feels like first-time director J.C. Chandor didn't know how to handle all the talent he had in front of him. Scenes with Stanely Tucci, Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons hold up, but that is probably because of their acting skills, and not much else. A better director would have brought out the subtleties of the scripts, and lessened the awkwardness of all those talking heads.
All in all, the film is quite topical, but if you want to watch a movie about our recent little stock market disaster, you'd probably be better off watching last year's documentary Inside Job.
Eli
PS - As per usual, I seem to be in the minority about this one.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Warrior
Men get angsty and beat each other up - learn life lessons.
Nominated for:
Best supporting actor - Nick Nolte
All in all, this little film is not a bad entry for the Academy's "Film Where Men Fight Each Other In A Ring" category. This year, the sport-du-jour is Mixed Martial Arts, and fans of the competition will definitely enjoy the movie, despite all the angst.
There isn't a whole lot to say - the film delivers exactly what it promises and doesn't fall into too much melodrama. Plus, the filmmakers bookended the movie with two songs by The National, which is a pretty sure way to win over this screeching harpy.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best supporting actor - Nick Nolte
All in all, this little film is not a bad entry for the Academy's "Film Where Men Fight Each Other In A Ring" category. This year, the sport-du-jour is Mixed Martial Arts, and fans of the competition will definitely enjoy the movie, despite all the angst.
There isn't a whole lot to say - the film delivers exactly what it promises and doesn't fall into too much melodrama. Plus, the filmmakers bookended the movie with two songs by The National, which is a pretty sure way to win over this screeching harpy.
Eli
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Moneyball
Baseball stats are TOO a fascinating topic of conversation!
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Brad Pitt)
Best Supporting Actor (Jonah Hill)
Best Picture
Adapted Screenplay (Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin; Story by Stan Chervin)
Also nominated for:
Film Editing
Sound Mixing
If you aren't a baseball fan, this film may just turn you into one. The script is true to Sorkin's unique style. Despite the vast amount of complex information contained within the dialogue, the character's personalities are distinctive and recognizable (unlike some other idiosyncratic screenwriters nominated this year...). In fact, all the elements of this film work in wonderful harmony to create the film's primary underlying message: fuck the system! Or maybe its more along the lines of "reinvent the system". Whatever.
Really, this movie has something for almost anyone. Baseball for sports nerds, and Brad's gorgeous mug for everyone else. Win!
Eli
PS - If you haven't already, check out the much longer discussion about Moneyball on the Massacre Podcast.
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Brad Pitt)
Best Supporting Actor (Jonah Hill)
Best Picture
Adapted Screenplay (Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin; Story by Stan Chervin)
Also nominated for:
Film Editing
Sound Mixing
If you aren't a baseball fan, this film may just turn you into one. The script is true to Sorkin's unique style. Despite the vast amount of complex information contained within the dialogue, the character's personalities are distinctive and recognizable (unlike some other idiosyncratic screenwriters nominated this year...). In fact, all the elements of this film work in wonderful harmony to create the film's primary underlying message: fuck the system! Or maybe its more along the lines of "reinvent the system". Whatever.
Really, this movie has something for almost anyone. Baseball for sports nerds, and Brad's gorgeous mug for everyone else. Win!
Eli
PS - If you haven't already, check out the much longer discussion about Moneyball on the Massacre Podcast.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Albert Nobbs
Period piece! Blah blah blah! British-ish! Blah blah blah! Swapping gender roles! Blah blah blah!
Nominated for:
Best Actress (Glenn Close)
Best Supporting Actress (Janet McTeer)
Also nominated for:
Best achievement in makeup
I love Glenn Close as much as the next person, but this film blows. The characters are dull, the cinematography is dull, the music is dull - dull, dull dull. Unfortunately, the Academy seems to have this thing where if an actress dresses like a man, or is man-ish, or just ugly, they feel like its some kind of big acting accomplishment. And they love it even more if she puts on an accent. OMG an ATTRACTIVE WOMAN is pretending to be ANDROGENOUS?!?!?!?! This is MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!! AWARD her immEEDIATely!
I doubt anyone from this film will win anything. Don't bother watching it. Unless you need a nap, in which case, go for it.
Eli
PS - Actually, it might (deservedly) win something for makeup.
Nominated for:
Best Actress (Glenn Close)
Best Supporting Actress (Janet McTeer)
Also nominated for:
Best achievement in makeup
I love Glenn Close as much as the next person, but this film blows. The characters are dull, the cinematography is dull, the music is dull - dull, dull dull. Unfortunately, the Academy seems to have this thing where if an actress dresses like a man, or is man-ish, or just ugly, they feel like its some kind of big acting accomplishment. And they love it even more if she puts on an accent. OMG an ATTRACTIVE WOMAN is pretending to be ANDROGENOUS?!?!?!?! This is MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!! AWARD her immEEDIATely!
I doubt anyone from this film will win anything. Don't bother watching it. Unless you need a nap, in which case, go for it.
Eli
PS - Actually, it might (deservedly) win something for makeup.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Midnight in Paris
Insert clever joke about the 1920's parisian art scene here!
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing (Woody Allen)
Original Screenplay (Woody Allen)
Also nominated for:
Art Direction (Anne Seibel, Hélène Dubreuil)
So if you love Woody Allen, you will probably enjoy this film. If you love 1920's french art, or literature, or music, you will probably enjoy this film. Loving only one of these things might be enough to get you through this film. However, if you like neither, then there is no purpose in spending time on this. Its basically one big running gag for art nerds.
My issues with this movie are the same issues I have with every Woody Allen film. I don't see the point in awarding someone for writing the same neurotic protagonist over a 30 year career, nor do I understand the point in awarding someone who makes all their secondary characters sound exactly like the protagonist.
That said, I'm a big fan of surrealist painting, so Adrian Brody as Salvador Dali pretty much just killed me. There's a lot to love in this film, and there's a lot to hate. But I suppose if you just suspend your biases and go along for the ride, you'll enjoy the whole she-bang just fine.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing (Woody Allen)
Original Screenplay (Woody Allen)
Also nominated for:
Art Direction (Anne Seibel, Hélène Dubreuil)
So if you love Woody Allen, you will probably enjoy this film. If you love 1920's french art, or literature, or music, you will probably enjoy this film. Loving only one of these things might be enough to get you through this film. However, if you like neither, then there is no purpose in spending time on this. Its basically one big running gag for art nerds.
My issues with this movie are the same issues I have with every Woody Allen film. I don't see the point in awarding someone for writing the same neurotic protagonist over a 30 year career, nor do I understand the point in awarding someone who makes all their secondary characters sound exactly like the protagonist.
That said, I'm a big fan of surrealist painting, so Adrian Brody as Salvador Dali pretty much just killed me. There's a lot to love in this film, and there's a lot to hate. But I suppose if you just suspend your biases and go along for the ride, you'll enjoy the whole she-bang just fine.
Eli
Episode 3!
We've now made it to THREE WHOLE EPISODES! Thanks so much to everyone who listens. Remember, you can follow me on the tweeter twit thing @elismassacre, or email me your thoughts and criticisms at elismoviemassacre@gmail.com.
This week, Sophia and I have some wine and delve into The Tree of Life. Listen at your own risk.
Episode 3 - The Tree of life by Moviemassacre
This week, Sophia and I have some wine and delve into The Tree of Life. Listen at your own risk.
Episode 3 - The Tree of life by Moviemassacre
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Bridesmaids
Women can be funny too. Who knew?
Nominated for:
Best Supporting Actress (Melissa McCarthy)
Original Screenplay (Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig)
Can we put the gender distinction between male and female comedians to rest now? Because this movie is funny. And honest. And touching. And just plain good. And I didn't laugh while watching this film despite the mostly-female cast. I laughed because the movie is well written, well acted, and well directed. Funny is funny - whether you have balls or tits (or both) is inconsequential.
DOUBLE STANDARD ALERT! Now that I've just shit on defining talent based on one's maleness or femaleness, I am ever so pleased to see Kristen Wiig get a writing nomination. There are a pathetic number of women nominated in the non-actress awards (as per usual), so I'm throwing my estrogen-soaked weight behind these ladies. Honestly, how can anyone resist lines like this? Or this?
Eli
PS - Check out Bridesmaids director Paul Feig's conversation with Marc Maron, in which they talk quite a bit about what is and what is not comedic.
PSS - In case you missed it, Episode 2 of the Movie Massacre podcast is now available and anxiously awaiting your ear holes!
Nominated for:
Best Supporting Actress (Melissa McCarthy)
Original Screenplay (Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig)
Can we put the gender distinction between male and female comedians to rest now? Because this movie is funny. And honest. And touching. And just plain good. And I didn't laugh while watching this film despite the mostly-female cast. I laughed because the movie is well written, well acted, and well directed. Funny is funny - whether you have balls or tits (or both) is inconsequential.
DOUBLE STANDARD ALERT! Now that I've just shit on defining talent based on one's maleness or femaleness, I am ever so pleased to see Kristen Wiig get a writing nomination. There are a pathetic number of women nominated in the non-actress awards (as per usual), so I'm throwing my estrogen-soaked weight behind these ladies. Honestly, how can anyone resist lines like this? Or this?
Eli
PS - Check out Bridesmaids director Paul Feig's conversation with Marc Maron, in which they talk quite a bit about what is and what is not comedic.
PSS - In case you missed it, Episode 2 of the Movie Massacre podcast is now available and anxiously awaiting your ear holes!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Artist
It's a FAKE silent film! See how clever that is? We are super clever! Award us now for our cleverness!!
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Jean Dujardin)
Best Supporting Actress (Berenice Bejo)
Directing (Michel Hazanavicius)
Best Picture
Original Screenplay (Michel Hazanavicius)
Also nominated for:
Art Direction
Cinematography
Costume Design
Film Editing
Original Score
The set up for this story (talking pictures are putting the silent film actors out of work!) is very cute, but there isn't much depth past that point. There's just the massive Weinstein distribution machine pumping out tons of buzz. The whole movie feels like one big wink, one big novelty act. And hanging an entire film on a punch line is a very tricky thing.
Now, out of all the nominations this film has received (waaaaaay too many nominations), the one that is the most confusing is the Original Score nomination. This score has generated quite a bit controversy due to the fact that a large chunk of the music is lifted from Bernard Herrmann's love theme in Vertigo. Which is, you know, only one of the most recognizable film scores ever written. Why a black and white movie about silent films is "paying tribute" to a 1958 Hitchcock thriller about possession and obsession isn't very clear. I mean, at least have the decency to lift shit from your OWN scores, like John Williams.
Really, I should have loved this thing. I love old Hollywood movies. I love the look of black and white film. I love seeing filmmakers push their creative boundaries. But this mess relies way too heavily on the "silent film" schtick, and the business with the film score stinks of laziness and plagiarism. Booooooo!
Eli
PS - I know I'm going to get in trouble for the John Williams comment. I'm talking RECENT John Williams, not back-when-Spielberg-made-respectable-movies John Williams, ok? I'm talking to you, Ryan.
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Jean Dujardin)
Best Supporting Actress (Berenice Bejo)
Directing (Michel Hazanavicius)
Best Picture
Original Screenplay (Michel Hazanavicius)
Also nominated for:
Art Direction
Cinematography
Costume Design
Film Editing
Original Score
The set up for this story (talking pictures are putting the silent film actors out of work!) is very cute, but there isn't much depth past that point. There's just the massive Weinstein distribution machine pumping out tons of buzz. The whole movie feels like one big wink, one big novelty act. And hanging an entire film on a punch line is a very tricky thing.
Now, out of all the nominations this film has received (waaaaaay too many nominations), the one that is the most confusing is the Original Score nomination. This score has generated quite a bit controversy due to the fact that a large chunk of the music is lifted from Bernard Herrmann's love theme in Vertigo. Which is, you know, only one of the most recognizable film scores ever written. Why a black and white movie about silent films is "paying tribute" to a 1958 Hitchcock thriller about possession and obsession isn't very clear. I mean, at least have the decency to lift shit from your OWN scores, like John Williams.
Really, I should have loved this thing. I love old Hollywood movies. I love the look of black and white film. I love seeing filmmakers push their creative boundaries. But this mess relies way too heavily on the "silent film" schtick, and the business with the film score stinks of laziness and plagiarism. Booooooo!
Eli
PS - I know I'm going to get in trouble for the John Williams comment. I'm talking RECENT John Williams, not back-when-Spielberg-made-respectable-movies John Williams, ok? I'm talking to you, Ryan.
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo
Revenge is a dish best served by Lisbeth Salander.
Nominated for:
Best Actress (Rooney Mara)
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Film Editing
Sound Editing
Sound Mixing
Fans of the book will definitely enjoy David Fincher's adaptation of everyone's favourite blood-soaked trilogy. He does his best to smooth out the awkward story arch with some lovely cinematography and a delicious soundscape. Daniel Craig is flippin' fabulous, as always, and the faux-swedish accent is hardly irritating!
But really, the best reason to watch this film is Rooney Mara. If anyone is going to win out over Meryl Streep this year, it's this bad ass. And while there are some elements in the film that grate on my nerves (too long, too choppy, weird opening credits), nothing takes away from the fact that Lisbeth Salander is awesome. And terrifying. And terrifyingly awesome.
Eli
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Episode 2
Hello again!
Here lies a freshly uploaded podcast for your listening pleasure. Remember to email any thoughts or comments to elismoviemassacre@gmail.com and to follow this shit show on twitter @elismassacre.
Enjoy!
Moneyball by Moviemassacre
Here lies a freshly uploaded podcast for your listening pleasure. Remember to email any thoughts or comments to elismoviemassacre@gmail.com and to follow this shit show on twitter @elismassacre.
Enjoy!
Moneyball by Moviemassacre
The Help
Racism is pretty!
Nominated for:
Best Actress (Viola Davis)
Best Supporting Actress (Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer)
Best Picture
There is so much jammed into this movie that nothing has a chance to properly unfold, and because nothing has a chance to unfold, the filmmakers have to explain everything to you. This movie is heavy on explaining why rascism is bad, on why black women had a rough time in 1960's Mississippi, on how segregation was a bad thing. Because we, the audience, haven't already figured that out? And if everything is so awful, how come the whole thing looks like a cartoon?
It's two and a half hours of sassy mississippi black women getting revenge on their spoilt, over-priviledged "employers", which would be highly entertaining if the whole thing wasn't drenched in sap. For whatever reason, Walt Disney Studios felt the need to whack us over the head thirty times with their mightier-than-thou morals. And there are many, many reasons not to follow the morals of the almighty Walt Disney studios.
Yeah, the acting is pretty good. One of the supporting ladies will probably win. But no one will care about this movie in 3 months, let's just move on. Ok? Yes.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actress (Viola Davis)
Best Supporting Actress (Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer)
Best Picture
There is so much jammed into this movie that nothing has a chance to properly unfold, and because nothing has a chance to unfold, the filmmakers have to explain everything to you. This movie is heavy on explaining why rascism is bad, on why black women had a rough time in 1960's Mississippi, on how segregation was a bad thing. Because we, the audience, haven't already figured that out? And if everything is so awful, how come the whole thing looks like a cartoon?
It's two and a half hours of sassy mississippi black women getting revenge on their spoilt, over-priviledged "employers", which would be highly entertaining if the whole thing wasn't drenched in sap. For whatever reason, Walt Disney Studios felt the need to whack us over the head thirty times with their mightier-than-thou morals. And there are many, many reasons not to follow the morals of the almighty Walt Disney studios.
Yeah, the acting is pretty good. One of the supporting ladies will probably win. But no one will care about this movie in 3 months, let's just move on. Ok? Yes.
Eli
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Beginners
OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX!! OMGWTFBBQZXY!!1!1!!!!!
Nominated for:
Best supporting actor (Christopher Plummer)
Let's start this round off with a good one, ok? This is a lovely film. Elegant, graceful, honest, touching... its the whole package. The acting is superb (Melanie Laurent and Ewan McGregor deserve nominations as well), and the beautiful art direction ties together an otherwise non-linear story. Christopher Plummer is spot on, as always. There's also an adorable dog that speaks in subtitles to Ewan McGregor, and some subtle jabs at indy musicians and hipsters. All good things, in my book.
I'm so pleased that this film picked up a nomination, though it should have gotten way more. Don't let the trailers deceive you - this is a movie about a man who is dying (that's not a spoiler, its the opening line of the film). I pretty much sobbed throughout the whole thing. Metaphorically sobbed, I mean. I don't cry - my tear ducts turned to dust a long time ago.
Also, this is a great example of a film that uses voice-over narration properly - that is, to propel the story and add information, instead of just explaining the images in front of you. And there are some stunning images in this gorgeous little piece of cinema. Check out director Mike Mills talking about the locations they used.
Enjoy! I promise the next review will be savage and full of bile.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best supporting actor (Christopher Plummer)
Let's start this round off with a good one, ok? This is a lovely film. Elegant, graceful, honest, touching... its the whole package. The acting is superb (Melanie Laurent and Ewan McGregor deserve nominations as well), and the beautiful art direction ties together an otherwise non-linear story. Christopher Plummer is spot on, as always. There's also an adorable dog that speaks in subtitles to Ewan McGregor, and some subtle jabs at indy musicians and hipsters. All good things, in my book.
I'm so pleased that this film picked up a nomination, though it should have gotten way more. Don't let the trailers deceive you - this is a movie about a man who is dying (that's not a spoiler, its the opening line of the film). I pretty much sobbed throughout the whole thing. Metaphorically sobbed, I mean. I don't cry - my tear ducts turned to dust a long time ago.
Also, this is a great example of a film that uses voice-over narration properly - that is, to propel the story and add information, instead of just explaining the images in front of you. And there are some stunning images in this gorgeous little piece of cinema. Check out director Mike Mills talking about the locations they used.
Enjoy! I promise the next review will be savage and full of bile.
Eli
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
DAMN YOU SPIELBERG!!!!!
Goddamn Warhorse squeezed in at the end with a best picture nomination. Hey Spielberg, it's bad enough that you're still making movies, you gotta take my money too?
In other news, there are quite a few lovely films that have been nominated. Moneyball and Tree of Life got their due. I'm very much looking forward to seeing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (and maybe even Margin Call - so many men in suits!) And I'm pleased to see Kristen Wig's nomination for the Bridesmaids screenplay. This year's massacre may be a little disappointing...
Aww, who am I kidding? There is so much testosterone infused in this year's nominees that by the time the awards are handed out, it'll be a miracle if I don't have a freshly descended pair of testicles. Happy Oscar's 2012 everybody!
Here's the breakdown (links to the less buzzed-about films included for your convenience):
A Better Life: Best Actor (Demián Bichir)
The Descendants: Best Actor (George Clooney), Directing (Alexander Payne), Best Picture, Adapted Screeplay (Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash)
The Artist: Best Actor (Jean Dujardin), Best Supporting Actress (Berenice Bejo), Directing (Michel Hazanavicius), Best Picture, Original Screenplay (Michel Hazanavicius)
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Best Actor (Gary Oldman), Adapted Screenplay (Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan)
Moneyball: Best Actor (Brad Pitt), Best Supporting Actor (Jonah Hill), Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay (Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin, Story by Stan Chervin)
My Week with Marilyn: Best Supporting Actor (Kenneth Branagh), Best Actress (Michelle Williams)
Warrior: Best Supporting Actor (Nick Nolte)
Beginners: Best Supporting Actor (Christopher Plummer)
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close: Best Supporting Actor (Max von Sydow), Best Picture
Albert Nobbs: Best Actress (Glenn Close), Best Supporting Actress (Janet McTeer)
The Help: Best Actress (Viola Davis), Best Supporting Actress (Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer), Best Picture
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Best Actress (Rooney Mara)
The Iron Lady: Best Actress (Meryl Streep)
Hugo: Directing (Martin Scorsese), Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay (John Logan)
Midnight in Paris: Directing (Woody Allen), Best Picture, Original Screenplay (Woody Allen)
The Tree of Life: Direction (Terrence Malick), Best Picture
Bridesmaids: Best Supporting Actress (Melissa McCarthy), Original Screenplay (Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wig)
Warhorse: Best Picture
The Ides of March: Adapted Screenplay (George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon)
Margin Call: Original Screenplay (J.C. Chandor)
A Seperation: Original Screenplay (Asghar Farhadi)
I've only seen 5 of the 21 films listed above. I am so screwed.
Eli
Also - major props to the Quebec & Canadian film industry for Monsieur Lazhar!
In other news, there are quite a few lovely films that have been nominated. Moneyball and Tree of Life got their due. I'm very much looking forward to seeing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (and maybe even Margin Call - so many men in suits!) And I'm pleased to see Kristen Wig's nomination for the Bridesmaids screenplay. This year's massacre may be a little disappointing...
Aww, who am I kidding? There is so much testosterone infused in this year's nominees that by the time the awards are handed out, it'll be a miracle if I don't have a freshly descended pair of testicles. Happy Oscar's 2012 everybody!
Here's the breakdown (links to the less buzzed-about films included for your convenience):
A Better Life: Best Actor (Demián Bichir)
The Descendants: Best Actor (George Clooney), Directing (Alexander Payne), Best Picture, Adapted Screeplay (Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash)
The Artist: Best Actor (Jean Dujardin), Best Supporting Actress (Berenice Bejo), Directing (Michel Hazanavicius), Best Picture, Original Screenplay (Michel Hazanavicius)
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Best Actor (Gary Oldman), Adapted Screenplay (Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan)
Moneyball: Best Actor (Brad Pitt), Best Supporting Actor (Jonah Hill), Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay (Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin, Story by Stan Chervin)
My Week with Marilyn: Best Supporting Actor (Kenneth Branagh), Best Actress (Michelle Williams)
Warrior: Best Supporting Actor (Nick Nolte)
Beginners: Best Supporting Actor (Christopher Plummer)
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close: Best Supporting Actor (Max von Sydow), Best Picture
Albert Nobbs: Best Actress (Glenn Close), Best Supporting Actress (Janet McTeer)
The Help: Best Actress (Viola Davis), Best Supporting Actress (Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer), Best Picture
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Best Actress (Rooney Mara)
The Iron Lady: Best Actress (Meryl Streep)
Hugo: Directing (Martin Scorsese), Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay (John Logan)
Midnight in Paris: Directing (Woody Allen), Best Picture, Original Screenplay (Woody Allen)
The Tree of Life: Direction (Terrence Malick), Best Picture
Bridesmaids: Best Supporting Actress (Melissa McCarthy), Original Screenplay (Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wig)
Warhorse: Best Picture
The Ides of March: Adapted Screenplay (George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon)
Margin Call: Original Screenplay (J.C. Chandor)
A Seperation: Original Screenplay (Asghar Farhadi)
I've only seen 5 of the 21 films listed above. I am so screwed.
Eli
Also - major props to the Quebec & Canadian film industry for Monsieur Lazhar!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Awww yeah... Round 3 baby!
Tomorrow morning, the nominees for this year's Academy Awards will be announced.
I am ready for battle. My metaphorical sword is unsheathed and poised for attack. I will roundhouse kick any and all Hollywood shenanigans... with my WORDS!
In all honesty, this year I've probably gone and bitten off more than I can chew because I started a PODCAST! So not only will you be able to read my ranting and raving, you'll be able to listen to it as well. And though I strongly feel that my voice sounds like a pre-pubescent boy, some trusted sources have assured me that I sound like no such thing.
You can get a taste of episode 1 HERE! As of yet, it is for streaming purposes only. I hope that the podcast can carry on throughout the year, but such a thing will require some long term planning, like a producer, and proper studio equipment. For now, you'll have to settle for me and Dolores (that's the name of my microphone).
Also, I've got the twitter going (@elismassacre). That whole scene scares me quite a bit, but because I have so much love in my heart for all you readers (all 3 of you) I'm going to jump right in! So follow me goddammit, I don't want to look like a looser in front of all those twits...
Oh yeah, and the nominees are being announced by Jennifer Lawrence ...
Eli
I am ready for battle. My metaphorical sword is unsheathed and poised for attack. I will roundhouse kick any and all Hollywood shenanigans... with my WORDS!
In all honesty, this year I've probably gone and bitten off more than I can chew because I started a PODCAST! So not only will you be able to read my ranting and raving, you'll be able to listen to it as well. And though I strongly feel that my voice sounds like a pre-pubescent boy, some trusted sources have assured me that I sound like no such thing.
You can get a taste of episode 1 HERE! As of yet, it is for streaming purposes only. I hope that the podcast can carry on throughout the year, but such a thing will require some long term planning, like a producer, and proper studio equipment. For now, you'll have to settle for me and Dolores (that's the name of my microphone).
Also, I've got the twitter going (@elismassacre). That whole scene scares me quite a bit, but because I have so much love in my heart for all you readers (all 3 of you) I'm going to jump right in! So follow me goddammit, I don't want to look like a looser in front of all those twits...
Oh yeah, and the nominees are being announced by Jennifer Lawrence ...
Eli
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Episode 1!
Hi there nerdlings,
I've started putting together a podcast, and here's the first episode! Right now you can only stream the audio from this website, but soon its gonna be set up on iTunes and all kinds of other fancy stuff.
Let me know what you think, and if you'd like to participate (all voices are welcome). Also, if you want to volunteer and help me set up an RSS feed, I'll give you a cookie, or some gin.
Eli
The Movie Massacre Podcast - DRIVE by Moviemassacre
I've started putting together a podcast, and here's the first episode! Right now you can only stream the audio from this website, but soon its gonna be set up on iTunes and all kinds of other fancy stuff.
Let me know what you think, and if you'd like to participate (all voices are welcome). Also, if you want to volunteer and help me set up an RSS feed, I'll give you a cookie, or some gin.
Eli
The Movie Massacre Podcast - DRIVE by Moviemassacre
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