The Oscars are here! Time to leap for joy, or grab your puke bucket, depending on where you stand. On this episode I've got Eliot in front of the mic talking about what we love and what we hate about the Academy Awards. He lends extra credibility to the topic because he is an avid list maker - and the Oscars are truly a list-maker's wet dream.
I'll be on the tweeter during the ceremonies (@elismassacre). I may or may not be clever, depending on how much wine gets passed around...
Here's Episode 5! Happy Oscars!
Oscars 2012 by Moviemassacre
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
War Horse
Horses are people too, you know.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
At Direction
Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Here's a question for you - is Spielberg even trying anymore? Should we send out a search party for his talent, or has it suffocated under his massive pile of money? This film delivers exactly what the advertising promises. So you may as well just watch the trailer and save yourself the 146 minutes (that's 7 minutes longer than The Tree of Life, FYI).
The fundamental problem with this film is that every single moment is given a huge amount emotional weight. Every line of dialog is a big moral lesson, every music cue is EPIC, and practically every frame is a glamour shot of the bloody horse. How can your story build to any kind of climax with that level of constant melodrama? Where do you go with your story when the epic scale is already cranked to 10? (... To 11 maybe?)
The technical work that went into this film is all superb, but the acting is terrible, and the dialog is atrocious. Plus, the main kid throws off this creepy bestiality vibe whenever he gets near the horse, and that combined with all the field ploughing (first 1/2 hour of the film) forced me to suppress some very dirty puns.
The whole thing is a mess. SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE AWAY SPIELBERG'S MONEY!!!
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
At Direction
Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Here's a question for you - is Spielberg even trying anymore? Should we send out a search party for his talent, or has it suffocated under his massive pile of money? This film delivers exactly what the advertising promises. So you may as well just watch the trailer and save yourself the 146 minutes (that's 7 minutes longer than The Tree of Life, FYI).
The fundamental problem with this film is that every single moment is given a huge amount emotional weight. Every line of dialog is a big moral lesson, every music cue is EPIC, and practically every frame is a glamour shot of the bloody horse. How can your story build to any kind of climax with that level of constant melodrama? Where do you go with your story when the epic scale is already cranked to 10? (... To 11 maybe?)
The technical work that went into this film is all superb, but the acting is terrible, and the dialog is atrocious. Plus, the main kid throws off this creepy bestiality vibe whenever he gets near the horse, and that combined with all the field ploughing (first 1/2 hour of the film) forced me to suppress some very dirty puns.
The whole thing is a mess. SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE AWAY SPIELBERG'S MONEY!!!
Eli
Friday, February 24, 2012
Hugo
I want to go to there.
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Martin Scorsese
Best Adapted Screenplay - John Logan
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Film Editing
Art Direction
Costume Design
Best Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Visual Effects
Ok film geeks, this one is definitely for you! Packed with nods and tributes to the cinema of yore, Hugo just kinda sweeps you off your feet, no matter much cement and/or bowling balls you've packed into your boots.
The art direction and cinematography are simply stunning, and (unlike other old-hollywood-nostalgia films nominated this year) the whole thing stirs up some pretty intense desires for cheesy, ridiculous, old school cinema. Yes, the child actors are really annoying, yes everyone speaks in a bizarre pan-european accent, and yes there is way too much time spent on the creepiest robot in the world, but it's all super pretty, so who cares!
There are way better films this year that haven't received nearly as much recognition... But all things considered, if Hugo wins over The Artist or War Horse, I'll be very pleased.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Picture
Directing - Martin Scorsese
Best Adapted Screenplay - John Logan
Also nominated for:
Cinematography
Film Editing
Art Direction
Costume Design
Best Original Score
Sound Mixing
Sound Editing
Visual Effects
Ok film geeks, this one is definitely for you! Packed with nods and tributes to the cinema of yore, Hugo just kinda sweeps you off your feet, no matter much cement and/or bowling balls you've packed into your boots.
The art direction and cinematography are simply stunning, and (unlike other old-hollywood-nostalgia films nominated this year) the whole thing stirs up some pretty intense desires for cheesy, ridiculous, old school cinema. Yes, the child actors are really annoying, yes everyone speaks in a bizarre pan-european accent, and yes there is way too much time spent on the creepiest robot in the world, but it's all super pretty, so who cares!
There are way better films this year that haven't received nearly as much recognition... But all things considered, if Hugo wins over The Artist or War Horse, I'll be very pleased.
Eli
A Separation
No snarky tagline, cuz its just that good.
Nominated for:
Best original screenplay - Asghar Farhadi
Also nominated for:
Best foreign language film (Iran)
What can I say about this film? That the acting is flawless? That the writing flawless? That the composition is flawless? That the story has every opportunity to fall into a melodramatic, stereotypical portrayal of Iranian culture, but instead honours the integrity of its characters and maintains their humanity? That it's really freakin' good?
Yeah, I can say all of that. So I will. Just rephrase all that stuff as statements instead of questions.
Eli
PS - Though I'm really routing for Kristen Wiig to win for Best Original Screenplay, I wouldn't be surprised if Asghar Farhadi causes an upset and wins instead.
Nominated for:
Best original screenplay - Asghar Farhadi
Also nominated for:
Best foreign language film (Iran)
What can I say about this film? That the acting is flawless? That the writing flawless? That the composition is flawless? That the story has every opportunity to fall into a melodramatic, stereotypical portrayal of Iranian culture, but instead honours the integrity of its characters and maintains their humanity? That it's really freakin' good?
Yeah, I can say all of that. So I will. Just rephrase all that stuff as statements instead of questions.
Eli
PS - Though I'm really routing for Kristen Wiig to win for Best Original Screenplay, I wouldn't be surprised if Asghar Farhadi causes an upset and wins instead.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
My Week With Marilyn
Oh Marilyn, you're so crazy! ... That turned out well, right?
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Michelle Williams
Best Supporting Actor - Kenneth Branagh
Straight up, Michelle Williams is superb as Marilyn Monroe. And Dame Judi Dench is also fabulous in her tiny role. But that's pretty much where the greatness ends. All the characters come off as cartoonish and one-dimensional (especially Kenneth Branagh as Lawrence Olivier). The film presents itself as some kind of wonderful madcap romp, but all that cheeriness undermines Michelle Williams' efforts to garner credibility and sympathy for Hollywood's most infamous sex symbol.
The film starts with a title card stating that everything in this film is TRUE, and by the end we are told just how WONDERFULLY everything turned out for all parties involved. This is beyond disturbing, given that Marilyn Monroe overdoses on barbiturates only a few years later. To boot, the main character is a wide-eyed, freckle-faced, rich-blooded mimbo who seems to have spent his entire life talking about the week he spent with Marilyn Monroe in his youth. Obsessed much?
In my book, he just another set of testicles clamouring to claim a piece of Marilyn Monroe as his own. And this movie is just another sloppy biopic looking to cash in on some greasy Oscar buzz.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actress - Michelle Williams
Best Supporting Actor - Kenneth Branagh
Straight up, Michelle Williams is superb as Marilyn Monroe. And Dame Judi Dench is also fabulous in her tiny role. But that's pretty much where the greatness ends. All the characters come off as cartoonish and one-dimensional (especially Kenneth Branagh as Lawrence Olivier). The film presents itself as some kind of wonderful madcap romp, but all that cheeriness undermines Michelle Williams' efforts to garner credibility and sympathy for Hollywood's most infamous sex symbol.
The film starts with a title card stating that everything in this film is TRUE, and by the end we are told just how WONDERFULLY everything turned out for all parties involved. This is beyond disturbing, given that Marilyn Monroe overdoses on barbiturates only a few years later. To boot, the main character is a wide-eyed, freckle-faced, rich-blooded mimbo who seems to have spent his entire life talking about the week he spent with Marilyn Monroe in his youth. Obsessed much?
In my book, he just another set of testicles clamouring to claim a piece of Marilyn Monroe as his own. And this movie is just another sloppy biopic looking to cash in on some greasy Oscar buzz.
Eli
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
A Better Life
THE MEXICANS ARE COMING! But it's cool, cuz they're nice.
Nominated for:
Best Actor - Demián Bichir
*** Spoilers below ***
A poor (but noble) illegal Mexican immigrant fulfills his dream of making a better life (LIKE THE TITLE!!!) for his son by buying a truck for his landscaping business. But BAM! someone steals his truck. Sonovab@#%! Father and son bond over search for truck. Then those nasty cops go and spoil it all by deporting Father back to Mexico. NO WORRIES though, Father and a host of other illegals pay a smuggler to get them back over the border. Father and others skip off through the desert into the sunset, and into the USA.
As far as issue films go, this one isn't all that bad. But there is a lot of over-simplification of some very complex things, the worst case being the ending (crossing the border illegally through the desert is not exactly a breeze...). This film is supposed to be pro immigration, but it essentially shoots itself in the foot. Both xenophobic and open-armed Americans will remain convinced of their respective opinions, and those who fall somewhere in the middle will promptly forget they ever saw this film.
Eli
Nominated for:
Best Actor - Demián Bichir
*** Spoilers below ***
A poor (but noble) illegal Mexican immigrant fulfills his dream of making a better life (LIKE THE TITLE!!!) for his son by buying a truck for his landscaping business. But BAM! someone steals his truck. Sonovab@#%! Father and son bond over search for truck. Then those nasty cops go and spoil it all by deporting Father back to Mexico. NO WORRIES though, Father and a host of other illegals pay a smuggler to get them back over the border. Father and others skip off through the desert into the sunset, and into the USA.
As far as issue films go, this one isn't all that bad. But there is a lot of over-simplification of some very complex things, the worst case being the ending (crossing the border illegally through the desert is not exactly a breeze...). This film is supposed to be pro immigration, but it essentially shoots itself in the foot. Both xenophobic and open-armed Americans will remain convinced of their respective opinions, and those who fall somewhere in the middle will promptly forget they ever saw this film.
Eli
PS - While some may find Demian Bichir's character inspiring, I'm a little sick of seeing Hollywood pump out this noble-foreign-destitute protagonist. If being poor makes you so smart and good, why are we all still a slave to the 9-5?
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Sirius Black is a British spy?!?!?!?!?!
Nominated for:
Best Actor (Gary Oldman)
Adapted Screenplay (Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan)
Also nominated for:
Best Original Score (Alberto Iglesias)
If you ever dreamed of being a british spy, this film will absolutely crush any and all romantic thoughts you may have had on the subject. This masterfully crafted film deserves recognition for much more than the script and Gary Oldman's performance (like maybe directing, editing, best picture...)
A+ to director Thomas Alfredson for confirming all my deepest fears about the incompetency of our bureaucratic superiors. Check out the podcast for a more in depth conversation.
Eli
If you ever dreamed of being a british spy, this film will absolutely crush any and all romantic thoughts you may have had on the subject. This masterfully crafted film deserves recognition for much more than the script and Gary Oldman's performance (like maybe directing, editing, best picture...)
A+ to director Thomas Alfredson for confirming all my deepest fears about the incompetency of our bureaucratic superiors. Check out the podcast for a more in depth conversation.
Eli
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